Ban hands-free phones in cars after rise in road deaths, MPs suggest.

Well, the MPs can go and take a dive. They can’t even organise a piss up in a brewery, or implement the wishes of the British people when they voted to leave, so how are they going to manage to have eyes – or should I say, how will they expect the police to have eyes for something that is basically invisible – where no eyes can lurk?

The police can’t even patrol those that hold their phone while talking, so how are they going to manage to stop motorists or see motorists doing something – hands-free – which is basically invisible to the naked eye?

I do wonder how their minds sometimes work (that is MPs). Do they sit around the table and try to come up with as many stupid things in one sitting, or do they pace themselves? The police numbers have been cut to the bare bones, and even if you had a full complement on the roads they wouldn’t be able to see anything, other than the driver talking to himself… or his passenger. Total madness!

People who hold their phones, I understand it must be stopped, but hands-free-phones is completely stupid. It is unworkable, unmanageable. I prefer if they (that is the politicians) put their minds to something that is possible and workable and linked to the real world. They can’t even sort out Brexit. I think the problem is that they’ve got too much money, not enough focus and probably too much time on social media chest-beating.

You just imagine the scenario. A police car is driving along and he or she spots somebody mouthing something (thinking it could be a hands-free mobile phone they are talking to)… what do they do? Pull that person over in the belief that they are talking on their hands-free?

Police officer to the suspect: “Excuse me, sir, I saw you mouth something and I believe you were talking on your hands-free?”

Suspect: “I was talking to myself, officer.”

Police: “Really, that sounds a bit mad to me.”

Suspect: “Madness isn’t a crime unless we are talking pop group here.”

Police: “Don’t be flippant sir, I am only doing my duty.” He looks the suspect up and down. “Please get out of the car”.

Suspect: “Is it because I am of a shade you don’t like officer?”

Police: “We are not biased, sir, and please get out… besides, you are white?”

Suspect: (still not moving) White, black or blue, they are all colours of the rainbow… that never stops higher authority showing their superiority over the crushed working man… So, you say it isn’t my colour… what about my flash car?”

Police: (getting fed up) “Out, before we nick you for not obeying a direct order. Police officers are kind people, just with a low threshold… especially when you get some clown wasting our time, anyway… “flash” it is a Robin Reliant!”

He gets out of the car and the police officer searches, but finds nothing… no mobile.

Police: “Ok, sir, you can go. Next time you mouth something, talk to yourself or even sing to a tune on the radio, big brother will pursue you. (he pauses a few seconds) Courtesy of your representative in Parliament… have a good day!”.

The driver leaves, shaking his head.

Madness? Or just the thought-processes of bored MPs who have found Brexit too complicated and hot to handle, so they decided to come up with ways to piss off the general public even more. Maybe it is just a distraction ploy!

Don Scully